A Survivor's Reaction to Latest Mass Shooting
Another day, another mass shooting in America. Discover a mass shooting survivor's reaction to today's tragedy at Apalachee High School in Winder, Ga.
As we wait for more information on today’s mass shooting at Apalachee High School in Winder, Ga., take a minute to hold in your heart the fatalities, their families, the survivors and the entire Winder, Georgia community.
Now, breathe and remember this is not about you - this is about them.
After surviving a mass shooting in 2016, I’m fairly certain I view mass shootings differently than most. But it’s time you take a glimpse through my lens.
For the first few years post-shooting, news of a fresh mass shooting sent me into a PTSD spiral. As I write this now eight years later, I know I’m staying safely dissociated while fighting to write, so please bare with me.
“It was like he was shooting fish in a barrel.”
Let’s rewind: Mass shootings after surviving a mass shooting.
“It was like he was shooting fish in a barrel.”
Those words jostled me from a restless sleep on October 2, 2017, fifteen months after my mass shooting.
The night before, on the closing night of a country music festival, Stephen Paddock murdered 60 people in the Las Vegas mass shooting, sending me into a dissociated coma for days.
Never fall asleep with the tv on lest you wake to news.
My reaction to the Parkland High School shooting in February 2018 was significantly more intense.
Images of child survivors sent me hyperventilating into the street on a winter night. Shivering and sobbing - I let it all pour out of me.
But this was different.
It was a landmark turning point in my post-mass shooting journey.
These were children.
The Parkland shooting necessitated my need to harness my experiences and emotions to empower fellow survivors - especially children.
The Parkland students are why I write, why I share my story.
(More on this soon, too).
But it isn’t only for them: I write for you, too.
I write so you can understand what happens during a mass shooting and the treacherous journey to conquer PTSD.
So you can empathize with those who have survived a mass shooting or lost a loved one.
I write so I can help develop resources for those who live.
I write so you can help survivors, too…
Surprise, this will be spread over a series.
More honestly?
It’s in my best interest to stop writing now and utilize my favorite PTSD coping mechanisms, which I’ll share later.
Next up: The notes I took in realtime today combined with The AntiHeroine’s Guide to Appropriate Mass Shooting Reactions.
Followed by Surviving an American Mass Shooting Part 6.
To catch up on TheAntiHeroine and explore a mass shooting through a survivor’s eyes, start here.
I'm so sorry you have to continuously relive your trauma. Replying from Australia, where I had a visceral reaction to the text messages shared between a mother and son during the shooting you speak of. Yesterday my almost 15 year old texted me from school that "something was happening" and they couldn't leave their classroom but he seemed relaxed. It turned out a girl had had a seizure and they were keeping students in their rooms until an ambulance arrived and could tend to the girl. While a school shooting could happen here, it would be extremely rare. I can't imagine living with that possibility each day. I can't imagine receiving a text from my child saying there was a shooter and that they were scared. It breaks my heart.