Allison, let me tell you something that really hit me - when you talk about those small wins. Washing your face turns into a whole skincare routine. One block of walking turns into six miles.
THAT'S HOW YOU BUILD!
That's exactly what I'm always preaching - you start small, you stack wins, you keep pushing. The most fire part about this? You're not just healing - you documented the process to help others. That's that giving mentality I respect so much.
Self-care isn't soft. It's not weak. It's freaking STRATEGIC. It's about building yourself up so you can be stronger, better, more resilient. Whether you're dealing with trauma or just daily stress, having these systems in place is crucial.
To anyone out there struggling: You're not alone. Find your routines. Build your systems. Take it day by day. And most importantly - KEEP GOING!
I love this comment- it’s giving me so much energy and I want to go do all of my routines now!
That was only the beginning but it was the most important step - and I’ve taken so many more since.
But this is exactly what I hope to convey with my writing and story - I want to give people hope while with an honest voice while illustrating actionable steps on how to heal and rebuild your life after trauma!
You’re amazing, Kuriakin! I so appreciate your energy and how much you truly get it!
My son has some nightmares from time to time, now I feel more equipped when he comes to me. These techniques are so helpful, not only to me, but could light the path for many people.
That means the world to me and I hope so much that it helps your son! I actually called my mom this morning to ask if she remembered- she said the same words!
Oh wow - my goodness I’m sorry to hear that. But you are exactly the reason I write - for the survivors and their families. I want to help. If there is ever anything I can do for you or your mother, please let me know. You’re both more than welcome to reach out. Sending love you prayers to you both
This is a powerful essay for those who are in a healing journey. One step equals more and you build on it. I’m so sorry for the pain you suffered and have to shed, I can’t imagine.
I spent my entire life at the Jersey Shore and the ocean, especially in winter, has tremendous healing power.
Thank you, Alison. It's been a journey but the silver lining to surviving so much trauma is sharing the art of resilience with others!
My heart is in OCNJ! The second part of my memoir is "OCNJ!" Of course you had a house there, too. Besides the fact that our names are pronounced the same, I feel so connected to you. The power of OCNJ in the winter though? Oh there is nothing like it. We may need a field trip!
In the little ways my story intersects yours, I feel the profound truth of these words! Being able to drag the demons out and name them is so difficult. Painful. Scary. HARD. I think that’s one of the sacred responsibilities of writers—they lend their words to others so they can name and call out their demons. -Ceylan
Ceylan, maybe this is why we understand each other so well! But, we you and the OBA team know, the most brilliant arcs always take that grit - and courage to write. Let's call out some demons and tell some stories, Ceylan! xoxo
The "calling out or saying out loud" your nightmares is genius! It make me think of something else that I would see like "Demons from the day joining forces with your demons at night": My brain can be pretty sensitive to incorporate violent stories or movie scenes into my dreams. No need to mention that not trying to expose myself is not always possible.
But I made it a kind of automatic routine that when I come across a daylight demon, I force myself to revisit that scene or thought shortly after and even tell it to NOT appear in my dreams. So far, it has been working for years!
Fabienne, that is brilliant. SAME. I see things and know it will be in a nightmare sometimes, too! Now I know exactly how I’m going to prevent nightmares AND how to deal with them??
You complete me. And help me hide dead bodies.
But also, I love how self-aware you are and that you made it an automatic response. So many people don’t face their demons - you don’t let the demons face you!
Wonderful, authentic and profound. Thanks for sharing your story, Allison. This is more than just sharing words in a newsletter, you’re sharing a piece of your life, I hope all women struggling with PTSD needs to hear stories like this.
Thank you, strong and sweet Haniyeh. My goal is to equip survivors to better heal by exposing my pain and illustrating the steps I took to heal. My argument is one must explore, confront, and understand your past in order to fully love, accept and become your BEST self. 🕊️✨🤍
I hope that I can build something truly valuable, for a real painful problem, for women and children battling real life trauma and problems. That’s my wish for 2025 :)
Allison, let me tell you something that really hit me - when you talk about those small wins. Washing your face turns into a whole skincare routine. One block of walking turns into six miles.
THAT'S HOW YOU BUILD!
That's exactly what I'm always preaching - you start small, you stack wins, you keep pushing. The most fire part about this? You're not just healing - you documented the process to help others. That's that giving mentality I respect so much.
Self-care isn't soft. It's not weak. It's freaking STRATEGIC. It's about building yourself up so you can be stronger, better, more resilient. Whether you're dealing with trauma or just daily stress, having these systems in place is crucial.
To anyone out there struggling: You're not alone. Find your routines. Build your systems. Take it day by day. And most importantly - KEEP GOING!
I love this comment- it’s giving me so much energy and I want to go do all of my routines now!
That was only the beginning but it was the most important step - and I’ve taken so many more since.
But this is exactly what I hope to convey with my writing and story - I want to give people hope while with an honest voice while illustrating actionable steps on how to heal and rebuild your life after trauma!
You’re amazing, Kuriakin! I so appreciate your energy and how much you truly get it!
My son has some nightmares from time to time, now I feel more equipped when he comes to me. These techniques are so helpful, not only to me, but could light the path for many people.
That means the world to me and I hope so much that it helps your son! I actually called my mom this morning to ask if she remembered- she said the same words!
My mom was severely injured in a mass shooting at a law firm in the 90s. I was happy to find your writing.
Oh wow - my goodness I’m sorry to hear that. But you are exactly the reason I write - for the survivors and their families. I want to help. If there is ever anything I can do for you or your mother, please let me know. You’re both more than welcome to reach out. Sending love you prayers to you both
That is kind. Lots of love 🌱
You explain things so well! Don't tell it show it! Felt like I was power walking through OCNJ with you. And that deck/view...phew!
Thank you!! It’s all about illustrating - show, don’t tell! Marion Roach Smith teaches that well!
OCNJ is amazing. After writing this, another Substack Alison and I are planning an OCNJ meetup!
This is a powerful essay for those who are in a healing journey. One step equals more and you build on it. I’m so sorry for the pain you suffered and have to shed, I can’t imagine.
I spent my entire life at the Jersey Shore and the ocean, especially in winter, has tremendous healing power.
Thank you, Alison. It's been a journey but the silver lining to surviving so much trauma is sharing the art of resilience with others!
My heart is in OCNJ! The second part of my memoir is "OCNJ!" Of course you had a house there, too. Besides the fact that our names are pronounced the same, I feel so connected to you. The power of OCNJ in the winter though? Oh there is nothing like it. We may need a field trip!
Alexander connecting us was brilliant!
Absolutely! We have to connect!
We really do! Send me a DM or I’ll shoot you an email in the morning!
In the little ways my story intersects yours, I feel the profound truth of these words! Being able to drag the demons out and name them is so difficult. Painful. Scary. HARD. I think that’s one of the sacred responsibilities of writers—they lend their words to others so they can name and call out their demons. -Ceylan
Ceylan, maybe this is why we understand each other so well! But, we you and the OBA team know, the most brilliant arcs always take that grit - and courage to write. Let's call out some demons and tell some stories, Ceylan! xoxo
😎💪🪖
The "calling out or saying out loud" your nightmares is genius! It make me think of something else that I would see like "Demons from the day joining forces with your demons at night": My brain can be pretty sensitive to incorporate violent stories or movie scenes into my dreams. No need to mention that not trying to expose myself is not always possible.
But I made it a kind of automatic routine that when I come across a daylight demon, I force myself to revisit that scene or thought shortly after and even tell it to NOT appear in my dreams. So far, it has been working for years!
Fabienne, that is brilliant. SAME. I see things and know it will be in a nightmare sometimes, too! Now I know exactly how I’m going to prevent nightmares AND how to deal with them??
You complete me. And help me hide dead bodies.
But also, I love how self-aware you are and that you made it an automatic response. So many people don’t face their demons - you don’t let the demons face you!
Added to the top of my list! Gonna read this tomorrow
Please do let me know what you think! Thanks for the support darling 🕊️
Wonderful, authentic and profound. Thanks for sharing your story, Allison. This is more than just sharing words in a newsletter, you’re sharing a piece of your life, I hope all women struggling with PTSD needs to hear stories like this.
Thank you, strong and sweet Haniyeh. My goal is to equip survivors to better heal by exposing my pain and illustrating the steps I took to heal. My argument is one must explore, confront, and understand your past in order to fully love, accept and become your BEST self. 🕊️✨🤍
It’s so precious, I’m learning so much from you :)
And I you! I feel something beautiful and powerful building… I’m so blessed to have you in my life, Haniyeh
I hope that I can build something truly valuable, for a real painful problem, for women and children battling real life trauma and problems. That’s my wish for 2025 :)
I hope God gives me the blessing and guidance 🤍✨