So many science works have been done on this! I haven’t had enough research yet, but I’ll share what I learn with you later on. I love to see these connections and you give such gift to curious minds and wounded hearts. Your words for pure souls feel like sipping hot chocolate in front of a chimney in a cozy room.
our words for pure souls feel like sipping hot chocolate in front of a chimney in a cozy room. Oh my goodness that is delicious. I may need to post a quote attributed to you. Wow I love seeing your many writing talents.
That's exhausting just reading about it, I hope that isn't a ritual you need to go through very often. I can imagine that knowing what works for you now, when you need it is a bonus, but that it also must have taken a looong time to get to a point where you're not just rocking in a corner but you know what you need to do to pull yourself around.
You really put yourself out there Allison and I think that you can help a lot of people by doing so!
Thank you so much, Mark. Coming from you, especially, that means a lot. It too long but knowing I can quicken the process and arm others gives me the nerve.
And self-care is also the most enjoyable form of mental healthcare!
Is giving yourself permission to do what you need to do to feel better part of the process? Rather than just powering through?
I know it’s not the same but in the context of stress, you might want to power through, but I think we all know that when we feel like that, it’s the opposite of what we need.
It’s so funny that you ask that when you did. I was actually just on the phone with Alison Bull - she suggested asking reader questions and answering them live. But… the chat feature seems a bit overwhelming (although I’m not sure for whom).
—-
It is the same context but different intensity. All of my methods apply to daily stress in one way or another.
When I don’t want to face something, that’s when I need to the most. Anxiety stems from that avoidance.
It took me a long time to learn emotions again. Identifying them - especially on a scale - was wild to rediscover as an adult. It feels jarring at first, so I needed a framework.
I prefer my emotions be clean, purposeful and wisely applied. I give myself permission to feel things within defined boundaries, to serve a purpose, a go-to exit strategy and an endgame.
Sometimes, it helps sort out the noise and unnecessary emotional displays.
Sometimes, it makes me realize I’m overreacting to something I do not give a fuck about.
The BEST times? It makes me savor the sweetness and soak in the grace notes.
lol perhaps Alison had a point….
Perhaps we copy and paste this into a joint article. Mark, here we go having entire convos in comments sections. It’s amazing.
But what are your thoughts on the asking questions via chat and answering live?
I don't like the Chat feature, I've never turned mine on, it's just too clunky and doesnt work the way you'd expect it to, or want it to. I think it needs to be more like a Whatsapp or Messenger groupchat than what it is, Meta at least have got those right. Plus, it's only as real time as the participants make it and you can probably do just as good a job in notes?
I think subscriber chats are something Substack shoehorned in to try and "add value" so that people could make paid subscriber only chats etc. Maybe one day, I'll change my mind.
I see that, needing to face up to something specifically when you don't want to, is probably the best time to. It's kind of like the fear of the thing is worse than doing the thing, and if you fear it, it gets you twice, once in the lead up and again in the actual doing. I hope that makes sense. I've written this before, for a post, but it's lost in the drafts somewhere, I'm sure I made it sound better then!
I can't imagine how relearning emotions would feel, kind of like having to relearn language or how to walk but less easy to define.
"I give myself permission to feel things within defined boundaries..." - Can you just like turn them off then, the feelings that is?
I think I can disassociate from some things within certain boundaries, but it's usually something that comes afterwards, once the initial emotion and feeling has caused whatever instinctual reaction comes naturally.
There's legs in these comments somewhere, I don't think my contribution is necessarily worthy of co-authorship though 😂 you're doing all of the work!
It is helpful, you're helping to scratch the curious itch!
We write too much, this should be several comments, I can't cope with comments this long with so many different things to reply too, I can see this getting real complicated really quickly 😂
Love how you turned something heavy into a moment of empowerment. That shift from chaos to calm is so real—and that inner voice saying, “I can manage this” hits deep.
Great tools and I get it! I wonder if there was something in the air/stars last couple days I went through some freeze and I did some yin yoga and offered a free class for others, serving always helps me. I cried hard and then allowed myself to go to bed. I said no to seeing others and just held myself. I appreciate you sharing the tools and grateful you have a practice and are willing to share. I love you lots and think you are fabulous.
A piece that I need to re-read many times. How valuable is this flow in your writing! Thank you, I’ll be back again:)
Thank you, my sweet Haniyeh! Another piece for you to explain to me!!! Sending peace and love 🕊️
So many science works have been done on this! I haven’t had enough research yet, but I’ll share what I learn with you later on. I love to see these connections and you give such gift to curious minds and wounded hearts. Your words for pure souls feel like sipping hot chocolate in front of a chimney in a cozy room.
our words for pure souls feel like sipping hot chocolate in front of a chimney in a cozy room. Oh my goodness that is delicious. I may need to post a quote attributed to you. Wow I love seeing your many writing talents.
Thank you for such kind and beautiful words! 🤍
Always my dear ✨🙂
That's exhausting just reading about it, I hope that isn't a ritual you need to go through very often. I can imagine that knowing what works for you now, when you need it is a bonus, but that it also must have taken a looong time to get to a point where you're not just rocking in a corner but you know what you need to do to pull yourself around.
You really put yourself out there Allison and I think that you can help a lot of people by doing so!
Thank you for having the courage to hit publish.
Thank you so much, Mark. Coming from you, especially, that means a lot. It too long but knowing I can quicken the process and arm others gives me the nerve.
And self-care is also the most enjoyable form of mental healthcare!
Is giving yourself permission to do what you need to do to feel better part of the process? Rather than just powering through?
I know it’s not the same but in the context of stress, you might want to power through, but I think we all know that when we feel like that, it’s the opposite of what we need.
lol I will read and respond more thoroughly to your response novel tomorrow
It’s so funny that you ask that when you did. I was actually just on the phone with Alison Bull - she suggested asking reader questions and answering them live. But… the chat feature seems a bit overwhelming (although I’m not sure for whom).
—-
It is the same context but different intensity. All of my methods apply to daily stress in one way or another.
When I don’t want to face something, that’s when I need to the most. Anxiety stems from that avoidance.
It took me a long time to learn emotions again. Identifying them - especially on a scale - was wild to rediscover as an adult. It feels jarring at first, so I needed a framework.
I prefer my emotions be clean, purposeful and wisely applied. I give myself permission to feel things within defined boundaries, to serve a purpose, a go-to exit strategy and an endgame.
Sometimes, it helps sort out the noise and unnecessary emotional displays.
Sometimes, it makes me realize I’m overreacting to something I do not give a fuck about.
The BEST times? It makes me savor the sweetness and soak in the grace notes.
lol perhaps Alison had a point….
Perhaps we copy and paste this into a joint article. Mark, here we go having entire convos in comments sections. It’s amazing.
But what are your thoughts on the asking questions via chat and answering live?
lol was any of this helpful?
I don't like the Chat feature, I've never turned mine on, it's just too clunky and doesnt work the way you'd expect it to, or want it to. I think it needs to be more like a Whatsapp or Messenger groupchat than what it is, Meta at least have got those right. Plus, it's only as real time as the participants make it and you can probably do just as good a job in notes?
I think subscriber chats are something Substack shoehorned in to try and "add value" so that people could make paid subscriber only chats etc. Maybe one day, I'll change my mind.
I see that, needing to face up to something specifically when you don't want to, is probably the best time to. It's kind of like the fear of the thing is worse than doing the thing, and if you fear it, it gets you twice, once in the lead up and again in the actual doing. I hope that makes sense. I've written this before, for a post, but it's lost in the drafts somewhere, I'm sure I made it sound better then!
I can't imagine how relearning emotions would feel, kind of like having to relearn language or how to walk but less easy to define.
"I give myself permission to feel things within defined boundaries..." - Can you just like turn them off then, the feelings that is?
I think I can disassociate from some things within certain boundaries, but it's usually something that comes afterwards, once the initial emotion and feeling has caused whatever instinctual reaction comes naturally.
There's legs in these comments somewhere, I don't think my contribution is necessarily worthy of co-authorship though 😂 you're doing all of the work!
It is helpful, you're helping to scratch the curious itch!
We write too much, this should be several comments, I can't cope with comments this long with so many different things to reply too, I can see this getting real complicated really quickly 😂
Love how you turned something heavy into a moment of empowerment. That shift from chaos to calm is so real—and that inner voice saying, “I can manage this” hits deep.
I have been repeating those words nonstop this week! Thank you so much for reading and commenting. I’m so glad it resonated.
Great tools and I get it! I wonder if there was something in the air/stars last couple days I went through some freeze and I did some yin yoga and offered a free class for others, serving always helps me. I cried hard and then allowed myself to go to bed. I said no to seeing others and just held myself. I appreciate you sharing the tools and grateful you have a practice and are willing to share. I love you lots and think you are fabulous.
I needed to come read this comment again this morning to remember you’re always with me in spirit!
You really do just resonate with my soul, Alicia. I wondered actually the same thing and it’s going to take all of us to right this energy.
Thank you for all of your words and all you are! My mom told me she bought a book of my list and I’m REALLY hoping it’s yours. I love you!
Our brave heroine! 💪🖤 You’re doing amazing—keep letting your brain go slow when it needs to and finding your path forward. You got this!
Thank you my OBA friends! I definitely picked myself up - but gently. That’s all you can do sometimes: Try gently.
And self-care. 🤍